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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23212969">Attendre, et espérer.</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/miyu_skye/pseuds/miyu_skye'>miyu_skye</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Fate/Grand Order</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Character Study, F/M, Missing Scene, What-If</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-03-19</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-03-19</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-01 10:07:30</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>3,116</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23212969</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/miyu_skye/pseuds/miyu_skye</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Gudako can't summon the mysterious man that captured her heart during the events unfolded in the Prison Tower. She also keeps having those dreams that make her unable to sleep. Seeking his help once again, she tries to solve her problem. SPOILERS FOR EDMOND'S INTERLUDE (Nightmare; or, the Call of Love and Hate).</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Edmond Dantès | Avenger/Fujimaru Ritsuka, Edmond Dantès | Avenger/Original Female Character(s), Edmond Dantès | Avenger/Reader</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>45</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>COW-T - the Clash Of the Writing Titans</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Attendre, et espérer.</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Hi! This fanfiction joined the cowt contest, following the interesting prompts of 'cyclic story' and 'and it was all a dream'.<br/>I love the relationship Edmond has with his Master! When I watched his interlude I was so moved by the fact that he sacrificed himself so much for her sake. He would totally say that he did it to appease his Avenger's side, but I know better. With this story, I wanted to see what would happen if Gudako wasn't able to summon her 'dream bodyguard' (put it that way, it looks like something straight out of a Voltage game let me tell you) and she was still suffering from the remnants of the heroic spirits disturbing her sleep.<br/>Anyway, I still can't believe that Danganronpa's illustrator thought it would be a good idea to give Komaeda's face to the Count of Monte Cristo... I am weak.<br/>Comments and kudos are super welcome, as always!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>With a sigh, Gudako opened her eyes. The familiar white ceiling of her room in Chaldea stared back at her. She felt her head spin as soon as she woke up and she couldn’t understand why. She was sleeping up until now; why was she so tired, then? She had to admit that the training she was conducting together with Mash and her Servants was brutal, to say the least. There weren’t many other choices, though: to face the new Singularity, Gudako and her team had to be ready.</p><p> “Senpai?”</p><p> A voice shook her up from her thoughts. Looking in front of her, Gudako saw Mash, who was watching her with an expression that was both worried and confused. The other girl was sitting on the edge of Gudako’s bed, probably in an uncomfortable position because she didn’t want to lean on her too much – probably not to disturb her Master while she was asleep. Her hands were gripping the hem of her white sweater and her eyebrows were furrowed in a concerned expression. Suddenly, Mash stood up from Gudako’s bed.</p><p> “I-I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to sit…” She said, apologetically. The red-haired girl promptly reassured her Servant that she didn’t mind. “It’s just that when I came to wake you up this morning, you weren’t answering my calls. I was a bit worried, so I checked on you. I found out that you were still asleep, but it looked like you were in pain… Senpai, is everything okay?” Gudako could feel the worry in Mash’s voice. She didn’t know what had happened during the night, but the young Master knew that something did indeed disturb her sleep. She had never felt so tired after sleeping quite a lot. She was sure that the night before she went to bed fairly early, leaving Edison and Tesla to their bickering in the Command Room, while poor Mash and Helena were trying to calm the two troublemakers. She felt a bit sorry for the two girls, but now that she was thinking back about it, she had been tired the whole week.       <br/>
However, Gudako didn’t want Mash to worry too much about her. During her last check-up with Romani, everything was fine, so there was no need to worry.      <br/>
If her body was alright, there was nothing wrong with her, was it? Or maybe…?<br/>
Memories from the past suddenly made their way into Gudako’s mind. There had been a time when her physical body wasn’t in danger, but her mind was. Could it be that something similar was happening now…? Could that mean that she would get to see him soon?</p><p>
  <em>Attendre, et espérer.</em>
</p><p>Those were the last words that mysterious man said before leaving her for good. Just remembering those moments made Gudako’s entire body shudder. He said that it was indeed possible for the two of them to see each other again. She had tried, again and again, to summon him while she was having those dreams about the Prison Tower – nightmares? Visions? She didn’t know how to call them – but she didn’t succeed. She waited. She hoped. But he was nowhere to be found. Nor in her dreams, nor in her Servants lineup. It was like he vanished, like the flames who burned so vividly in his heart.</p><p>Gudako wondered if he’d know what she was going through right now. He was usually involved with unconsciousness dimensions and all that stuff. However, the girl didn’t even know how to go back to the Prison Tower – back to him.</p><p>However, those things didn’t matter now. She had to wake up and begin her training for the day. Smiling softly to her Shielder, Gudako tried to stand up from her bed. The scheduled training regimen was as severe as the others, so she had to get ready fast. As she was getting up, a piercing headache struck her and she was forced to close her eyes and fall back to her bed.</p><p>She let out a low whimper as she fell on a mattress than was way harder than how she remembered it to be. Her headache toned down after the previous sharp pain, so she could open her eyes. The room had changed abruptly. She was in a cell. She knew that place. She had been there before. Gudako thought that sitting on a hard and cold mattress wasn’t so bad, if it meant she could get to see him soon. The cell was as she remembered it, stark and dark. Outside of it, there was the usual hallway that led to the stairs she walked every time she accompanied him to defeat one of the spirits trapped in his castle.</p><p> She wondered when he would come to her cell to get her.        <br/>
Wait, why would he even? He wasn’t the one luring her in this time, was he? Could it be that she traveled there by herself? Seeing as Jeanne D’Arc was able to come willingly to that place, maybe it was something Gudako was able to do, too.</p><p> Gudako decided to wait for him for another moment. After all, time as she knew it had no meaning in that place.</p><p>As she heard a scream far far away, the girl suddenly stood from the cell bed. Was that a ghost screaming? Like the ones she saw when she went helping Miss Shiki in that strange building? Now that she was thinking about it, that was when she first met him. He was nothing but a flame back then, a vengeful spirit who didn’t have a body yet. He was just the embodiment of people’s feelings of revenge own. Gudako couldn’t understand why a sad story such as his was so acclaimed by the general public. True, the man had his charms – which affected her more than she would ever admit – but that was another story.</p><p> After she heard another frightening scream, she decided that it was time to look for him. She could indeed summon her Servants even in that place, but she knew that without his iron will to keep the ghosts at bay she would have been doomed. Plus, she wanted to see him again.</p><p>Wait and hope. Gudako felt that she had hoped, and waited, namely in that cell, enough. She was going to seize her fate with her hands.</p><p>As Gudako approached the cell’s door, she tried pushing lightly at the wet bars. The door opened without effort. Well, it wasn’t surprising since the whole building wasn’t even a real prison to begin with. Okay, what now?</p><p>Wait and hope<em>. Attendre, et espérer</em>.</p><p>Sighing, she began looking around.</p><p>- What are you doing here? – A voice resonated in the faint light of the cell. Gudako couldn’t help but gasp at the surprise – why was he so keen on making those surprise appearances? – and immediately turned to the voice. There he was. That familiar figure Gudako got so familiar with not so long ago. Back resting on the opposite wall, he was watching her with his arms crossed around his chest. He was dressed in his usual black suit. Scanning her from his position, he looked surprised, but also pleased. Well, his face was as stern as ever but Gudako had already learned how to read the minimal changes in his tone or the way his lips curved when he was talking to her. The girl felt her heart beat faster. She hoped he would not hear it in that sullen silence.</p><p>“Count…” She managed to say. To tell the truth, she wanted to dash toward him. But she refrained from doing it, as he would not have appreciated the gesture.</p><p>“Our temporary contract has ended; what are you doing here?” He repeated his question.</p><p> Well, Gudako wasn’t sure about what to tell him. It’s not like she knew exactly what she was doing there too. She just knew that she had some… issues during her subconscious sleeping state and that, maybe, he could be the one helping her.</p><p>“Well, I…” She started. “I wanted to see you.” What was she doing? Well, it wasn’t technically false, but…</p><p>Edmond raised an eyebrow at her words, then, he started laughing.</p><p> “So, have you decided to switch places with me? Have you decided to become my Abeè Faria and free me from my suffering?”</p><p>Well, if she had been able to summon him, yes, she would have freed him from that place.</p><p> Dantès brought a hand to his face, rubbing his eyes.</p><p> “Well, I couldn’t even begin to imagine you would come to me willingly. I thought there would be the people you call your friends helping you with this matter. This isn’t a place you might want to wander into, this isn’t a place where you want to leisure. I understand that, for you to come here, you must have a serious matter you want to talk to me about. I am able to at least make a guess. You fight, you make contact every day with heroic spirits and you defeat them, countless times. There is a subconscious dimension, a different space from the one you go when you have a pleasant dream. In that fragment of oneiric place, every grudge, illusion, resentment gather and when you are sleeping everything tries to overwhelm you. It is dangerous to leisure in there, and normally you would protect yourself by keeping your consciousness away from that place and going into a slumber with no dream. But, my once temporary Master, you are different. You are curious, you want to know everything. That was why we met here in the first place. You crossed that dimension and you shouldn’t have. Now the angry spirits of the remnants of heroic spirits you defeated want to devour your soul. If I could be there… in the place you call Chaldea – and while saying its name, the man looked at Gudako straight in her eyes – that would be different. I would shoulder the weight of protecting your sleep and your dreams. I would even become a nightmare for your sake. But I wasn’t able to reach you; I wanted to call you Master, but fate didn’t let me. Is this a punishment God is giving me for trapping all those spirits into this tower?”</p><p>“I’m sorry I wasn’t able to summon you in Chaldea. But, believe me, I tried. I tried so much, I wanted to see you again, Edm… I mean, Count.” Gudako corrected herself, as she remembered the difficult relationship the man had with his True Name.</p><p>At those words, he looked puzzled, surprised. Was he not expecting that Master he grew so attached to reciprocate whatever he was feeling? He used her to have his revenge on the Spirits of human sinners, he used her for his revenge, and yet, she yearned for him? That situation brought a familiar feeling to his chest, a feeling when he was alive, a woman he loved dearly…</p><p>But he was different. He wasn’t Edmond Dantès. He was the Count of Monte Cristo, the one whose only desire was to execute his revenge on the people who wronged him and for the same definition of his heroic spirit, he would never get the retaliation his novel counterpart got. And yet, why he was living that same emotion the real Edmond felt? Why that part of his other self he tried so hard to suppress was coming into the light so forcibly?</p><p>“I might have a solution.” He suddenly said. He looked unsure of it, but it was like he had an epiphany. “I can still protect you in some ways; at least, until you manage to properly summon me.”</p><p>“Do you think I can…?” Gudako asked, eyes wandering to the small window shedding light into the cell.</p><p>“Yes, you certainly can, my once temporary Master. You have been capable of much more astounding feats in this Château d'If.” He stopped himself for a moment, taking his time looking at the way Gudako smiled remembering the time they spent together. “But, there is a condition. I didn’t want to believe it at first, but, as you taught me this during the last time we were together.  The human sins I despised so much, those very same sins that condemned me to this prison I hated so much in life, were indeed a part of the human soul. They are what makes a human. The very essence of their soul. It isn’t possible to live without them. That was the reason I hated humans, even myself, so much. That holds true for you, too. Could you guess where I’m going?”</p><p>Gudako could only hold her breath in anticipation. She wasn’t sure she was following his reasoning correctly, but…</p><p>“I’m going to spell it out for you. There is no need to circle around it. To remain within your soul even if I’m not properly summoned in Chaldea, I have to attach myself to you using one of the sins that characterize humans.” He moved his hand under his chin, deep in thoughts. “I was thinking that gluttony might be the easiest one. Share one of the life pleasures together. However, there is no way to have a smoke here nor to have a delicious feast with food. But I can’t wait to have one as soon as I get summoned in your Chaldea base.” He smiled.</p><p>“Then…” Gudako started walking around the room, looking for ideas. “what about sloth? We can lay in bed, wasting our time here together?” She proposed, unsure of what she was saying.</p><p>“Your voice betrays you. You know it’s not going to work. If you let yourself go in this place, you might end up losing your soul forever in these realms and you could never come back to Chaldea again.”</p><p>Gudako sighed. She was so dangerously close to Edmond now. He looked at her, visibly upset. “Don’t even start thinking about it. You must not get close to me. It is dangerous if you get involved; my nature as an Avenger might put you in danger.”</p><p>“Count…” Gudako began and it became unbearable for him to keep looking at her any longer, so he had to turn his eyes away. “I don’t care. I want to get involved with you. I don’t want to leave you alone. You lent me your strength all those times, we fought those battles together… I remained by your side even if I wasn’t sure that was the right thing to do. I came here willingly, I came here for you.”</p><p>“You are such a troublesome Master.” His voice was stern, like his eyes, expression, everything. But he didn’t deny her, he didn’t push her away from him this time. Gudako knew that was her only chance.</p><p>“You asked me this yourself in this very tower. ‘Have you ever felt lust?’”</p><p>Edmond winced at his own words being said by her. Why did she have such an influence over him?</p><p>“I think you should stop. I applaud your braveness, but…”</p><p>“It’s like Mana transfer, isn’t it?” Gilgamesh had told her everything she needed to know.</p><p>“It’s way simpler than that. As you might imagine, for the soul it takes but a moment to be bound to the soul of another. The true question is, are you ready to shoulder the weight that comes from having a connection to me?”</p><p> “This is nothing. I went against Saint Jeanne D’Arc for your sake, do you remember? The very symbol of righteousness and sanctity. I’ve been scared in the past, even minutes ago. But you always proved me wrong, Count.” She looked firmly into his eyes. “I’ve never been so ready for anything else in my life.” The girl simply responded. That was cheesy, sure, but she meant it.</p><p>She got close to the man – he was taller than her. She rose on the tip of her toes and brought her face only centimeters away from Edmond’s surprised one. As fast as she could, she closed the distance between them, brushing her lips softly against his. Her hands lightly brushed his, and in response he took it firmly in his. She didn’t know what to expect, but Edmond’s lips were warm, like the flame he was holding in his heart. Gudako decided that she liked it. It was brief, but it was so intense. Gudako felt her heart burst up in flames, Edmond’s feelings overflowing directly in hers, becoming one. It was overwhelming; she never thought that she could feel so close to a man that was always so detached from reality. Gudako thought it would hurt, she thought she would feel her soul go up in flames. Nothing of that ever happened. With the Count, her Count, even if he wanted to push her away so desperately, she never felt pain or anguish. She just wanted to be close to him, to ease his pain. She wanted to be there for him. She wanted to kiss him again. And again. She wanted to have tea with him, she wanted to stay close to him, she wanted to enjoy every small moment with him.</p><p>“Master, you should go. I’m sure they are waiting for you. I will be more than happy to indulge in these sins of the flesh when you properly summon me in the realm of your physical body.” He smiled.</p><p>“When can I…” Gudako started, but she stopped herself. She already knew the answer.</p><p>With a sigh, Gudako opened her eyes. The white ceiling of her room in Chaldea stared back at her. She felt her head spin as soon as she opened her eyes, she couldn’t understand why. Did she faint? She didn’t remember what she was doing. Why was she so tired?</p><p> “Senpai?”</p><p> A voice shook her up from her thoughts. Looking in front of her, Gudako saw Mash who was watching her with an expression that was both worried and confused.</p><p> “Mash? What happened?” Gudako asked her. She was sure she had already made a similar discussion with her Servant.</p><p> “Are you okay? You were just about to get up when your eyes suddenly got vacant.”</p><p> It didn’t take long this time. Those words resonated into her head almost immediately.</p><p>
  <em>Attendre, et espérer.</em>
</p><p>Wait and hope. It didn’t matter if she wasn’t summoning him for the time being. Their souls were connected and the bond they forged was more strong than any contract she could ever make with any Servant. Waiting and hoping. For the sake of seeing him again, if it could make her hold his heart, and his soul in her hands once again.</p><p>Gudako would have gladly spent her whole life waiting for him.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>As a Youtube commenter wisely said: "who knew you could date your own nightmare"</p></blockquote></div></div>
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